February 8th 2013 Maren

Hey Family,

I am sorry... its really early so you haven't had time to write yet but instead of sending me an email you should just send me a dearelder. :D

I haven't told you this but there is an elder in my district who lives in Orem. He went to Mountain View and knows Lineah Cancilla, he also knew the girl who was on the motorcycle with David that night. Random connections... turns out we know a lot of the same people... He told me about Sydney Bruning this morning. What happened? My heart breaks for her family, please, give her mom and sisters a big hug from me and tell them that I love them.

It seems like since I left the ward has been through a lot. The bishop wrote us all (the ward missionaries) an email with parts of his stake conference talk... It just sounds like a lot has been going on... but I also know that the ward will come together and support the Bruning family.

Its hard to go on and talk about what is going on with me when my mind is hovering in stunned silence.

First of all... thank you for the Debit Card. I was able to check my balance on it at the ATM so it looks like everything works. I'm sorry the check didn't go through... I plan to set up a business account just for photography when I get home... tell her sorry for the mix up and thank you for being willing to write another check.

We're supposed to get travel plans in the mail today so I don't quite know when I'll be flying out yet but if we get them I will send a letter tonight. Its supposed to be the 18th... but we'll see if they can find a flight for us on that day. I can't believe its so soon!

Thank you thank you thank you for sending me Stephanie's letter! It was great to be able to read it. Not just skim it.

This week has been pretty hard for me... There was one night in particular that I was just not feeling good about things. I had to try really hard to figure out exactly what I was feeling and I finally figured it out... I didn't feel like a missionary... Let me explain. I realized that I had not been as diligent and I could have been. I hadn't been as focused on the Lords work or exactly obedient. I needed to do some major repenting... its a feeling that I never want to feel again. I need to be able to fall into bed at the end of each day knowing that I did everything I possibly could... if not... I will be accountable to my Father in Heaven for the time that I wasted, the people I let walk by without talking about the Gospel and the chances that I missed to bring his children closer to him. Its a big responsibility. I rededicated myself to my Father in Heaven and his work. Never again will I feel that way.

We talked to a brother in the TRC this week who told us that when we meet our mission president for the first time we need to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him two things... "I promise that I will be 100% obedient... and I promise that I will give you EVERYTHING i've got. And you better make sure you mean it." I want to be that missionary. I want to be able to work with that kind of conviction. Its a process. You don't become a great missionary over night... but day by day I will be able to get there.

Family... I miss you a lot. As I start thinking about going to New York you suddenly seem so much farther away. (ooo. that reminds me... I get to call you from the airport :D hope our flight isn't at 5 am or you'll be getting called at like 4....)

Okay. Pictures...

1. Hermana Lingenbrink, Hermana Moore, Me, Hermana Powell. All the girls in my district and also my roommates.

2. Hna. lingenbrink, hna. moore, elder Doman (cousins of the domans in our stake), Elder Hales (on the bottom), Elder Bond (yes his name is actually James Bond), Elder Hunter, Elder Roylance (on the bottom), elder Austin, Me, Hna Powell. These are Elders in our Zone

3. The Zone when I first Arrived.

4. Elder Doman, Elder Austin, Elder Roylance, Elder Spratling, Elder Hales. These were elders in our zone in another district in our zone that we got really close with. They left at the beginning of this week and I cried sooo much!

5. Same elders.

6. Random Me...

7. Elder Richardson, Elder Adams, Elder Morrell (from Wade and Cindy's ward), Elder Haskell, Elder Harden, and Elder Trias in the front. These are the elders from my district and they are all 18!

8. Me and my Hermanas

9. Our District trying to get a decent picture....

10. Hna. Moore, and Hna. Powell

11. Me and Hna. Brown.... she was also apart of the other district that left this week. She is a kindred spirit.

Well I am out of time... Sorry. I feel like my emails are usually all over the place and don't have a ton of information...

Family. I just want you to know that we owe everything we have, everything to our savior Jesus Christ. Read Mosiah 2.... We are just debtors to a ever merciful, and ever giving Lord. No matter what we do to try and repay him he just gives us more in the form of blessings. We cannot do this on our own. We owe everything to him. EVERYTHING! I am so grateful that I know of his love and plan for me. I am so grateful for his hand in my life literally ever step of the way. I am so grateful for the chance to be here. For all that I am learning. This is the true church of Jesus Christ. This is his gospel. His organization. People have been waiting to hear the truth that we have their WHOLE life! I had the really neat opportunity this week to pretend to be the investigator in a group teaching demonstration because I can speak and understand a lot of Spanish. It was the most amazing thing! You will probably say it was just pretend but it did not feel that way... I got to feel the spirit and learn everything for the first time and when they asked me to be baptized... I didn't feel like I'd had any special witness up to that point... but when they asked me I could feel the spirit working in my soul telling me that this was a good thing, this was a good direction. I could say, knowing that as an investigator i would say, Yes! I will be baptized. It taught me that sometimes the investigators just need to be asked, when they are asked it gives the spirit a chance to work in their souls and testify that everything they've heard is true! They don't have to understand everything they just have to feel the spirit.

I love this work! I love being here! and I love all of you!

Cant wait until I can talk to you on the phone.

-Hermana Maren Hale.