January 25, 2013 Maren

Hey Family!

Thank you all for your letters this week! Nothing is better than getting letters and when they're from Family its THAT much better! Still waiting to hear from Jake... (feel guilty yet?)

Boys this work is so amazing! Its hard, but its amazing.

Its so hard to figure out exactly what I want to write before I get here and then I dont have much time but I'll do my best.

This week I had the first of what I'm sure are many moments of discouragement.  Our teachers did a teaching demonstration for us and it was amazing! But for some reason all I felt was discouraged. Actually it was worse than that. I felt scared. Completely paralyzed. I couldn't even really tell you why I was just scared. My companion and I just left class because I couldn't speak without crying. She Just listened to what I had to say and let me figure out what I was really feeling by talking to her.

What it was was this... They were so good at simplifying the Gospel. They weren't scared of saying too much or saying the wrong thing they were just speaking the truth... I was scared that I would never be able to think that way. To simplify the gospel down to such terms that someone who doesn't know anything about it can understand and feel the spirit. The biggest fear though was that I would say something wrong to an investigator and they would miss their chance at receiving the restored gospel... My heart ached to think that I might be the reason someone rejected the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We just sat in silence for a while... and when my companion spoke she said the exactly perfect thing. She said, "If Christ were here, what would he say?" With those words she invited our savior to be there. I swear in my mind I saw him walking towards me with a look of pure love on his face. He understood exactly what I was feeling and even though it wasn't rational he empathized with me. He was there in that moment. Immediately I felt peace. Immediately I remembered exactly what kind of God he is... He assured me that no one is going to miss their one and only chance because of something I said. He assured me that "rejection" means truly understanding that which is rejected, it will be their choice with the full knowledge of the gospel... Not because I do or do not know how to perfectly teach a gospel doctrine. Don't get me wrong. I know the responsibility I have to learn all I can so that I can be a tool in the hands of God in bringing his Children, my brothers and sisters to the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He loves me so much, he loves all of us. Everything he did was for us.

The spirit is so strong here. All we have to do is invite him into our lives and he is there immediately.

I hope that made some sort of sense.

The other thing that has really hit me this week is the name of our church. "The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints." Do you have any idea how powerful that is? The Church of Jesus Christ. Its his church. We say that all the time but we have absolutely no idea what it really means. There are so many churches in the world that all teach something different. They all interpret the Bible differently. They all have different beliefs about the Nature of God. There are so many people out there who, just like Joseph Smith, want to know that a church is true... that what a Church teaches is exactly what Christ taught while he was here on the earth. That is why it is so amazing... Its not the church of Joseph Smith. Its not Joseph Smith's doctrine. It is the Church of Jesus Christ... Its his doctrine. Thats all we have to teach, thats all we really have to share. The true doctrine of Jesus Christ, the way he taught it, they way he wants us to live it. People only have to look at our name to begin wondering if its true... is this really the Church of Jesus Christ. That is what I get to share with the world. That is what I have been called to New York to do.

I am almost out of time. Its weird this place is still home... its still in Utah County, its still on BYU Campus... but I think of those things that they seem miles and miles away. This is a whole different world.

I am so excited to be here! I feel so amazed that I have the opportunity to share His Gospel. Every day is new and a little bit scary and here its comfortable... in New York I have a feeling its going to be a lot harder... but I know that I will be given the strength to endure. My teacher yesterday asked us if we ever noticed how quickly Men start to age as soon as their called to be General Authorities... It happens fast... He said its because its exhausting to be so surrounded by the spirit all the time. Its the same for missionaries. Its exhausting to be so surrounded by the spirit (kinda like how Moses felt after he talked to God). I have a theory that that is what truly helps young 18 and 19 year old young men "grow up" while in the mission field... They come home looking older, not just acting older. Idk... just a random thought.

  Hermana Hale

P.S. Jacob... make sure you actually watch "The District," Its the one thing I didn't do that I really wish I had. They talk and teach from it all the time. Watch it! and really pay attention to the missionaries, how they teach, it will help you a lot, I promise!